Barscape (from March 2011)

26Apr12

Last night a giant man squeezed by me and let his hands linger on my body about two seconds too long.  I flipped him the middle finger as he walked away but he didn’t see it.  I wish he did.

I buy a gal a drink because she has “Semper Veritas” tattooed across her chest.  I think to myself that usually people don’t come pre-labeled.  I like the meaning “Always True”. I was expecting to make a new friend but within the first minute of joining her company, I found that I misinterpreted the meaning.  I was expecting a noble truth when in fact, it was an ugly truth.  The first things out of her mouth were bullshit.  I didn’t even listen to the words.  It was a bunch of blah.  I regretted buying her the drink and I walked away.  Only later did I realize that ‘Semper Veritas’ was used in a wildly popular indie movie and now tattooed on posers all over the world.

Some girl pushed past me as I was about to walk outside for some fresh air.  My first inclination was to slap her upside the head but I actually possess something called “restraint”.  She was a petite, pretty girl dressed for 90 degree weather when it was about 40 degrees and raining steadily.  She ran to the bar next door shrieking in that pitch that only 20-something bar sluts can pull off.  I turned to the guy next to me and said “Man, that’s the kind of gal you should never date.  You will always be cold, broke and left holding her purse.”  True to form, about 30 seconds later she comes out of the other bar with some guy in skinny jeans in tow.  He’s shivering.  She has his jacket on and he’s holding her purse.

I stand outside again and there’s a tall, lanky guy outside wearing a black hat that has some shape to it.  He has a black scraggly beard. He was talking about his HP Lovecraft shirt.  he says “Hey…you know who this guy is?”  I said “yeah, HP Lovecraft…It’s written on your shirt.”  He just looked at me and then diverted his attention to his friend standing nearby.  

 

Later I see the same guy standing outside and some tall woman told him “You look like Abraham Lincoln…then she says…no…wait…you look like Edgar Allen Poe.”  I chimed in “I’d say he looks more like Lincoln”  She informs me ‘We’re all fucked today because of Abraham Lincoln.”  I suggest “Blame it on LBJ”  She said “I’m 33, I know about LBJ because he was President when I was born.”  I then realized that further exploration in the subject of Presidential history was a lost cause ( I’m 34 and I’m pretty damn sure good ol’ Jimmy Carter was president in 1978.)  This lady goes back into her Poe tirade and drunkenly tries to recite “Annabel Lee”.  That was a sign to skeedaddle.  The guy next to mentioned that she was the “Goth Girl of the Month”.  Wow.  I’m so impressed.  

I could go on.  Let’s just agree the world is full of people who are full of themselves, people who pride themselves on their ignorance, people who have no basic consideration for the stranger standing right next to them much less their own friends.  These people are only landscape to me.

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